Readers may have noticed that my productivity on my blog has decreased in recent months.
Over the past couple of years, the community mental health program where I have worked for seventeen and a half years has undergone change. This has been a significant source of grief for me as the community has lost six full-time therapists and half of its community members over that last couple of years.
I have had the need to write my way through some of these work challenges. I tend to write about what I am going through and have done so in two unpublished blogs. In these blogs I have sorted through my feelings and experiences at work. Until I sort through my professional plans and see what is going to happen at my job, I think it is best to keep these thoughts and reflections to myself.
About a year ago, I cut my hours at the job and opened up a part time private practice. I currently have no shortage of referrals and feel guilty about the long list of potential clients that sit on my wait-list. However, I am very bonded and committed to the relationships I have that remain in the community mental health program.
Last week I finally learned of a change in management. The new management wants to rebuild the program and is far more transparent about their intentions. However, changing horses in midstream will not be easy and I am fearful about what will transpire. Already top-down decisions are being implemented that may not be well received by those on the bottom.
I anticipate that my heart will continue to break in new and accelerated manners as new changes start to unfurl. Rebooting the program may change relationships and require new procedures. If it fails to work, our jobs could get cut. I hope things get better, not worse.
Operating a private practice and being my own boss has never been my end game. A part of me wants to stay connected to community mental health. It has taken me a long time to learn how to really work with people and provide quality mutual services. I am a healer and I want to see reforms that enable me to improve recovery and justice for people. I constantly am learning about things like politics that bog down the process and do not work.
I wrote this on the fourth of July. I sit today a week later rewriting and lamenting about what I am meant to do.
Preparing to Put More Time into my Training:
I also am in the process of negotiating a deal with a local peer agency that would help me provide my training in ten session increments as a new source of income.
I will likely be turning away from publishing blogs and turning toward fixing up my six-hour PowerPoint. I hope to make the slides a bit prettier and add some interactive exercises that can be completed in a zoom format that will reinforce skills.
I am praying for optimal negotiations and a healthy experience.