Having spent last night
In this University town
Tooling around
With well-adjusted kids
Who have nothing
Except time
To charm each other,
I wake late
And am struck
Like a sword in the gut
With thinking about
The stress of the clock
And that ongoing need
For politeness
As I wait
For my host’s
Breakfast to be finished.
My omelet,
Had been prepared to my liking,
And I filled my pack
With free food
For the whole of this
Empty day
As if my life depended on it.
I put my tray of dirty dishes
On a conveyor belt,
And watch
As it disappears
Into a fairyland.
After I depart,
I head into town.
The sun
Spanks off the sidewalk
Highlighting the gardens
With spring tulips
That are more pristine
Than I ever seen
Because a man
Tends them well
For all to see.
I hit the strip:
A gas station
An Italian Restaurant.
The other side of Main Street
Sidewalk disappears
And grass spills like waves
Toward the dirt and gravel
That munch and crackle
Beneath my feet.
There are
Large open lawns
With woodpiles
And dandelions
And sparse houses.
When the road ends I walk
Straight into unclaimed land
That you might find in park.
I walk through
People’s yards
I can’t care anymore.
I imagine
Mustering up powers
Of negotiation,
To the barrel of a shotgun
That might suddenly
Attend to me.
I keep on going
Until I hit the river.
I admire the flow of the
Creamed coffee water
That spurts
Over the collection of stones.
Downstream through thickets,
I try to imagine
That I am deep in a wilderness.
That the flow of the river is familiar
In spite of the soot
Off the interstate
Which is visible above.
Steering myself to stay in the strip
Of woodland that shields
The river from civilization.
I feel the need to balance myself
As one could easily
Fall out of this narrow oasis
Because it is scant.
And the river has graphically
Vomited any trace
Of wood that it has consumed.
So that the banks look
Like a Civil War battlefield
Suddenly a weasel
Scuzz-bugs away from me.
And I am reminded
Of the rats in the city park
Big as rabbits, bounding
Across the sewer.
I feel dirty.
I descend the bank.
I fall to my knees
I think about the University
With its polished floors.
I want to be anointed and purified.
I want to purge
The hatred within.
I raise my eyes,
To an encampment of holes
Up on the bank
And a pair of eyes gleam
I make a dash,
To leave behind the filth.
Further along,
As time presses forward,
There is a back yard
That spills its way down
To the waterline.
Here, pesticide toxins
Battle earth scum,
Beat it back,
Far away
From the artificial perfection
Of chemical green,
Human fashion;
And the driveway is swept black.
And there is a soccer net,
And rope swing
That look strong and secure.
They remind me
Of a young couple’s trust fund
And the tradition
Of education
That I was born into.
Presently,
An embankment
Has emerged on my right.
I ascend it wildly
And find it to be strewn with garbage.
At the top sits an old church
That has been converted
To a vacant convenience store.
On the front door
An old sign reads
“Students Welcome.”
I realize that I am on the road
That exits this University Town.
I start hiking on the road,
Trying to follow the river
As far as I possibly can.
The road forks then ascends
Into a ramp that crosses the river.
I look down at the river
Which descends further toward
The Ocean,
Picking more and more human waste.
In my days at a ghetto University
There was
The library
And the men,
Who cleaned it through the years,
Whose cheesesteaks
I would pack
With meat
To show my gratitude.
There had been
The Glock under the grill
And the shotgun over
The Trashcan
To help me
So that I could pay my rent.
I could follow the river
Deeper into the heartland
Of America—
It continues on its way
Through small towns,
Through back yards
And the locals
Who live in them.
Perhaps I would
Pass my future.
If I could follow it
Further and further;
But I turn around instead
And head back
To the University.
I can’t wait to hop in my car.
When I do,
It’ll only be a few minutes
Until I am far away
From this nowhere place.
